A study suggests the existence of feminine sexual pleasure

Recent studies by the University of Amsterdam, directed by Prof. Ruud Huygens, have demonstrated the existence of clear evidence pointing to the fact that a sexual intercourse between a [Prof. Huygens from Amsterdam] man and a woman could provide with physical pleasure to both members of the couple, and not only the male as it was believed until now.

Such daring hypothesis, in case it is finally confirmed, would suppose a revolution in the way of understanding sexual relationships in our society and, according to several prestigious economists, an increase in the value of the stocks of contraceptive firms, though it is feared that it could imply a recession in other economic sectors, such as television networks, analgesics or high-neck sweaters.

Our scientific adviser, Prof. Gustavo Washington from the University Carlos III (Madrid, Spain), showed an evident surprise by this audacious theory, even though he confirmed it looked conceivable. «The feminine genitalia have great complexity and science has hardly begun to dive into their mysteries. We can not discard that an adequate stimulation could produce the effects that Huygens' team asserts having found». Furthermore, he dared to venture which could be the responsible zone: «It's clear that, in case such a fact was feasible, it would be the result of a convenient action on the clitoris, through an obvious parallelism with masculine anatomy. And, perhaps, the vaginal walls, according to the Anglo-Saxon school, though I wouldn't like to venture before reading what might assert about this subject the dossier from the Netherlands». Questioned about the possibility of orgasm, something that the study from Amsterdam does not mention specifically, Prof. Washington had no comments to make.

As it was expected, the feminist organisations have raised their strongest protest before what they have described as «one more absurd deceit pretending to justify the lowest instincts of those dirty specimens of inferior hominids that men are, for the satisfaction of which they have maintained women enslaved throughout all history».

[Archive picture of His Holiness] Catholic Church has also expressed its doubts about the seriousness and the qualifications of the scientists from Holland, country that, in words by His Holiness the Pope, «has given more than enough evidences of its profligate and dissolute customs contrary to the most elemental moral», and he gave the example of «the woefully infamous Red District of the city of Amsterdam». Moreover, he exhorted priests to warn against this study in their next homilies and he threatened with excommunication to whoever «spreads so monumental nonsensical heresy».

Several women inquired by our reporters have shown their incredulity about the surprising conclusions of the aforementioned Dutch university. Severina López (housewife, 45yo) has criticised the wrong use of the funds for research («my Evelio is a bit rude but I love him very much and I don't need a foreign doctor to teach me anything»), while Susana García (student, 22yo) has expressed her incredulity, though she claimed to be disposed to give it one or two try-outs «when I meet the right man».

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